FORGIVENESS

ok here's the thing
i'm on a path of personal growth and i'm steadily learning and maturing and becoming the higher me. i encourage anyone and everyone to do this.
so this will b a series of blogs, including the last few and many more to come, that will express my thoughts, realizations, etc.

This one's on FORGIVENESS. One of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn, I'm just beginning to learn, and still have a ways to go. And i dont mean in a cocky way as in saying "i forgive u, u fuck up... b/c i'm the better/bigger person" or anything like that.

Madea said it on "Class Reunion" and I knew there was validity to it but I couldnt fully apply it to myself. I didnt realize that I had actually not forgiven just about anyone lol. I didnt feel that I was harboring stuff, I felt that I was angry and rightfully so because I had been wronged. There's not really anything wrong with that. We're all entitled to our feelings and opinions unless absolutely and ridiculously unfounded. Even when it angers someone else, feel however you want unless/until you learn differently. But there's real power in that notion of forgiveness. FORGIVE THEM. And not just in an empty way cuz that's just the thing to do. They probably didnt mean to do you wrong deliberately and even if they did, people are going to be however they are and there isnt anything that you physically or personally can do about that. You can't help how someone else is, good or bad. IF you reveal to someone that something about them and their behavior hurts you and they love you enough that they at least attempt to do something about it, that's good and keep them around. YOU CANNOT MAKE someone atone or face something or anything like that, especially not on your own time table. You can merely bring it to their attention and openly and honestly tell them where you're coming from on it. You can ask and desire and even maybe demand or beseech, but you cannot outright EXPECT, even tho u'd like it to happen, need or require it to happen and would b disappointed/hurt it it doesnt. Help them understand what you're going through. But regardless, forgive people for simply being themselves. You can ask no more than that of them.

But dont forget lol. You didn't go through whatever it was for nothing. Don't guilt folks. If you say you truly forgive then do so and move on from that particular issue. Seek closure, whatever that may mean. There's something very wrong when whenever you look at, see pictures of or think of someone, your face twists up, you get upset, you get mad or u start saltin in any type of way. Even if you jump sayin "ionn wanna talk about it" there's clearly still deeply seeded pain there. Don't even get spiteful. FORGIVE!!!!

Then, FORGIVE YOURSELF. Now that's even deeper.
Dont get all depressed. Depressed is just anger turned inwards. Anger is a very valuable feeling. Honor your feelings. Accept them. Learn and grow from them. If you see things about u that need improving then do so. When being involved with others, compromise is required. Free yourself. Free your mind. Free your conscience. Free your heart. Don't stunt your own growth, especially if it was b/c of someone else's stupidness. Once you're free, you can experience true love; for yourself and with someone else.

If you need to let go of someone or something for the time being to allow it to happen later in life when times are better, do so. DO NOT expect yourself to b able to flick the off switch today or even tomorrow for that matter, but it'll get easier with time. Anyone else who would expect that of you might want to be more patient as well you should be with them. Yes, I understand that.... for myself and others. (If you think it applies to you, it most likely does )

the next "lesson" may be PATIENCE.